What makes a man abuse a woman?

The answer is simple "Power." 

The measure of a man is what he does with power - Plato. 

Men are naturally stronger than women physically. If the man has an economic advantage, he is likely also to exhibit power over the finances of his home or relationship. 

What you do with your power as a man is what differentiates between abuse and empowerment.

Religiously speaking, from a Christian lens, we believe that the man is the head. We are quick to quote Ephesians 5: 22, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife..." 

We learnt how to constantly look at the bigger picture during our marriage counselling each time we have an argument.

When the heat is hot, it can be easy to forget why you are with the person, the texts and calls you made during the first phase, how they made you melt to pieces. 

The butterflies you felt in your stomach melt with lava of anger, discouragement and even sadness. But you have to focus on the big picture.

When I was in Nigeria, as an African man, if a girl smiled at me, I would take that as an invitation to a conversation; when she looked straight into my eyes, that was more than an invitation. 

I don't think I am weird to feel this way because, as Nigerians, we aren't taught how to look at people in the eyes unless we have that awestruck butterflies for that person. 

No doubt, talking about our emotions isn't easy. Some of us struggle with identifying how we feel and why we feel what we think.

In this episode, I spoke on:

-What emotions are, why we feel what we feel

-How we got to this point where adults are taught about emotions and how it impacts you

-Why it is essential to open up about your emotion